By Claire, Founder of Youthoughtism
Introduction
Self-esteem is a highly discussed topic everywhere, but before we start – what exactly is self-esteem? According to the Cambridge Dictionary, self-esteem refers to the ‘belief and confidence in your own ability and value’. When you have healthy self-esteem, you feel good about yourself and see yourself as deserving the respect of others. When you have low self-esteem, you put little value on your opinions and ideas. You might constantly worry that you aren't good enough. Now that I have defined this widely-used term, let’s get on to the main topic.
Where do Teen’s Self-Esteem come from?
There are three main sources of teenager’s self-esteem.
1. The people around them! (e.g. teachers, parents, friends…)
The people in their lives can affect how they feel about themselves. When they focus on what's good about the teens, they feel good about themselves. When they are patient when they make mistakes, they learn to accept themselves. When they have friends and get along, we feel loved
2. Themselves (i.e. their inner heart, the voice in their heads)
Teens put a LOT of pressure on themselves. They must ace their studies, score top marks in tests to get into acceptable high schools or colleges. You might not realize this, but teens put a TON of pressure on themselves, sometimes even more than parents or teachers do! If they feel good about themselves, and use the goal of just trying their bests, they’ll feel a lot happier and stress less.
3. Things or experiences
Unpleasant experiences like being bullied is another important factor. If you are bullied, you might feel like you aren’t good enough, or whatsoever. Words like that can really pierce your heart and break it into pieces. If you are the person saying it, you might think it’s just a small matter, but to the person hearing it, they might remember it for the rest of their lives.
Self-Esteem in Teenagers – Why is it harder for them?
TEENS VS ADULTS: Adults already have tons of experience in their lives, so they will know how to deal with problems, and to not put so much pressure on themselves. Of course, when working or taking care of kids surely is hard, but they have experience from their teenagerhood to help them solve them.
TEENS VS KIDS: Kids are still at a young age when they don’t realize that they are encountering problems when they are. Of course, they are very dependent on their parents as well, and their parents are also there for them. Some kids only focus on having fun, so they don’t really have a lot of worries or struggles. They are not at the age when study is a huge problem yet, and they rarely have relationship problems with friends. I believe a lot of teens wish to go back in time and be innocent little kids forever, haha…
Importance of Teen’s Self-Esteem
You might think: Teenagers are still in their early stages of life, why are their self-esteem important? Shouldn’t adults/elderly’s self-esteem be the first priority? Actually, teenagers’ self-esteem can affect his/her whole life. According to a questionnaire given to 90,000 students in grades 7-12, self-esteem helps teens deal with emotional stress. Additionally, having good self-esteem correlates with success later in life, mainly because good grades and confidence can allow a teen to start out with scholarships and other opportunities. It allows them to try new things, take healthy risks and solve problems. For instance, teens will be relatively more mature, will accept frustration and deal with problems better. By not worrying too much about themselves, they can also help others, and boost other people’s self-esteem, killing two birds with one stone. Sounds great, doesn’t it?
Having a Bad Self-Esteem?!
Okay, having a positive self-esteem is good, we see that. But then how would having a bad self-esteem impact teenagers? Don’t you worry, I’ve got you covered!
Poor teen self-esteem can lead to emotional and mental issues. Depression can stem from feeling as though you are not good enough. In some cases, teenagers who cannot overcome their feelings of hopelessness and low self-esteem resort to suicide. Teenagers might also make bad decisions such as doing drugs or smoking, which will eventually harm their physical health as well, affecting their whole future. They will have difficulty making friends. Ultimately, they will have no motivation at all and always experience negative emotions.
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem
Now, the tips! Here are some ways to raise your self-esteem.
1. Accept what's not perfect
It's always good to do the best you can. But when you think you need to be perfect, you can't feel good about anything less. Accept your best. Let yourself feel good about that. Ask for help if you can't get past a need to be perfect.
2. Set goals and work toward them
If you want to feel good about yourself, do things that are good for you. Maybe you want to eat a healthier diet, get more fit, or study better. Make a goal. Then make a plan for how to do it. Stick with your plan. Track your progress. Be proud of what you've done so far.
3. Focus on what goes well
Are you so used to talking about problems that they're all you see? It's easy to get caught up in what's wrong. But unless you balance it with what's good, it just makes you feel bad. Next time, catch yourself when you complain about yourself or your day. Find something that went well instead.
4. Give!
Giving is one of the best ways to build self-esteem. Help clean up your neighborhood, walk for a good cause... Help out at home or at school. Make it a habit to be kind and fair. Do things that make you proud of the kind of person you are. When you do things that make a difference, your self-esteem will grow.
How to Raise Others’ Self-Esteem
Now you might say… My self-esteem is already so high! What’s there to do? Well, it is always nice to lend a helping hand! Here’s how you can make other people’s self-esteem skyrocket.
1. Congratulate them!
If they accomplish something, give them praise! One short sentence really can’t be underestimated. I assure you that it can truly make someone’s day, and make them feel better about themselves. If they didn’t achieve something, cheer them up, tell them it is okay to fail, because everyone experiences ups and downs in their lives, and help them get back up!
2. Teach them when possible
If someone around you seems to be struggling with something, lend them a hand and tell them what you know. Of course, throughout the process, don’t pick on them too much or be overaggressive. Just teach them in a kind and helpful manner, and you will be highly appreciated.
3. Be there to listen
If they have any problems or face any difficulties, be there to accompany them and have them rant about their problems with you! It really helps after talking to other people, so just be there for them and it is really meaningful :)
4. Don’t be so hard on them
No matter if you are a parent, a teacher, or even a friend, don’t be so hard on teens! Always tell them to not put so much pressure on themselves, and teach them that it is already okay if they have tried their best. Tell them that everyone has their own ups and downs and it’s completely normal. Don’t request/expect so much from that, they are still teenagers!
Conclusion
Through this blog, I hope that you all have learnt more about this extremely important topic, and to know how to deal with it yourself, as well as how to deal with it for others. Always remember:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Have a great day, and you’re awesome :)